TwitCount Button

Mental Health Trinity of Looseness

There was a moment there where I thought I was going to write my morning pages right here on Sunbane every morning. Imagine! I have spared you that, instead choosing to handwrite my 3 pages in an A5 notebook with my fountain pens. I’ve been doing it daily since 13 January and I’m really enjoying how it’s making me feel. I think doing that, coupled with exercising every day by taking Clovey up the Hill of Beans, are going a long way to making me feel a little looser, a little more connected, a little less depressed.

The Hill of Beans challenge was a 28-day challenge to get to the top every day in January. Yes, January, on Arran, which means storm city. Some days I got absolutely drenched, but I kept it going and it has now become a habit that continued right the way through February. There were a couple of stormy days in February that I elected not to go, but I was okay with that.

It’s a place where I feel at my most creative and my least fearful. I rarely meet anyone else; I’m in nature; I’m getting my heart going so that I can actually hear my pulse; I’m watching Clovey enjoying the walk. And it’s where I often feel inspired to whip out my phone and record a video for my YouTube channel.

I’m enjoying the overall feeling of looseness that I get on the Hill of Beans. If I could just find a time of the day to practice meditation every day. I haven’t quite found a routine time to do that yet and I’m not sure why that is. I think that the morning pages, the Hill of Beans and meditation would make a really nice mental health trinity of looseness.

Back to School

School’s back. Ugh. I woke up after dreaming that I was playing a gig with Donal and he’d plugged his guitar into the wrong thing. I must be anxious about Saturday. In fact I know I’m anxious about Saturday. I should watch Get Back and remind myself that I love playing.

It’s fucking pelting down today. I got up around 8 because school starts back today for Hamish and he said he’d have boiled eggs. Len got him out in the car and just texted to say that she’s stuck at the pharmacy with a flat battery. I asked if she wanted me to call Chris to come out and jump it, but she said no because it’s raining. She’s the boss. So she’s going to walk home in the rain (without her big jacket) and go via the post office to post lateral flow tests to her mum. That’s why she was at the pharmacy. I think it’s her third attempt to get them but it’s been closed because of the fucking Christmas bollocks. At least that’s all by now. Thank FUCK for that.

I sent my virtual assitant, Anri, a couple of messages on Slack about her scriptwriting and she’s responded that she’s going to start moving them into GMT. I thought she’d already done that. God, I’m such a crap manager. I just want to be left alone but still have everything done for me just as I like it. That’s just silly, isn’t it? It’s time for me to step up.

Stew from Foster put up an annual review and linked to the template he used. It’s really fucking long. It’s by Anthony Gustin and is here. So I continued going through my DayOne and making notes. I got to the first week in March. Long way to go, although I think my long-form writing started dwindling round about then. There is a bunch of hand-written ones coming up though, when I was sitting out on the porch in the good weather. God, that seems unimaginable right now.

I’m enjoying going through Sam Harris’ Waking Up app. I’m on day 3 now and am pretty sure that I’m going to buy a subscription. But speaking of subscriptions, I had to withdraw £1k from the ISA yesterday because we’re about to go overdrawn. Can I just remind you how much I fucking hate Christmas? Yep, January, the dark month, storms and credit card bills and tax payments.

Anyway, I’m in the present now. I don’t need to dwell on that, do I? I need to dwell on getting through my to-dos and making some money on GMT. I almost started editing a video yesterday, then discovered that Anri had mixed up the JBL soundbars and also there was no video asset for it, so I bailed on it and played Rock School instead. Then I decided to write to her and let her know about the mix up, so that’s a growth thing for me, then put it on ice and start to work on the next one. I didn’t actually start work on the next one, but at least I know what I’m doing today.

I wish I knew how to change the notification email address for GMT. Right now they’re coming into my gmail and it’s a pain in the arse because I keep thinking that my main channel is growing and it isn’t. I’ll look into that again once I get off this writing session. Let’s BuJo it.

I managed to get through another day of keto yesterday and this morning my sugar was 8, so higher than yesterday. And I got up the hill.

Nickey Sketchley, the diabetic nurse, didn’t give me any grief at my appointment yesterday so I’m pretty pleased about that. I was sure she would mention it. It was a pretty standard appointment really. I won’t get the results till next week. Wednesday I think we agreed. How come it takes so long?

Ealána texted to ask about how to pay me for the guitar strings and said she’s looking forward to Saturday. I’m expecting them to cancel it, but maybe not. It’s going to be a quiet one for sure. I think my last gig before lockdown 1.0 was in January and it was pretty busy, but then it wasn’t pandemic time.

It’s nice not feeling depressed. I think doing the Sam Harris meditation when Hamish goes out to school is a good time.

It’s going to be challenging working while Freya’s home. I might have to hunt Len into the bedroom so I can record. That’s going to be just the kind of thing that makes me not produce anything. Honestly, any little thing. I should really have been recording a voiceover this morning so I can edit, but I daren’t start now as she’ll be coming in the door any minute.

12:33 I got the next voiceover done like a boss! Len actually came in the door as I was about to record the last couple of paragraphs, but she went out into the garden to clear the grass and I just got it done! Then I spent about an hour trying to change the notification email address for my GMT videos, added my GMT email to the Windows mail app and then had breakfast. I did get the email changed. Uncofirmed as yet, as I’ve not had any new subs since I fixed it, but I’m confident it’ll work.

Prianka’s been putting out business videos and I find them inspiring. Not so much the content, but her workflow and how she goes all-in. She doesn’t seem to let her mood or her introversion stand in her way of just doing the thing. Having her as a friend is one of the best things that came out of last year.

Okay, time to take Clovey up the hill. It’s clearing up a bit outside, thank God. It was brutal earlier.

Looking down at my wet boots next to a flow of water over what's normally the path up the hill.
God bless Gore-Tex!

Ludovico Einaudi

I spent much of yesterday listening to Ludovico Einaudio on YouTube and was blown away. The music feels like it’s touching my very soul and opening up a channel to source.

This morning I sat out on the porch listening to a podcast called Experience: The Ludovico Einaudi Story and it was a beautiful and memorable moment. I feel connected to the world after listening to that.

Highly recommended!

Resistance?

I’m working hard to get my week on track and so far it’s kind of working. My to-dos are getting ticked, but now I’m facing two big ones and I’m not sure what it is that’s holding me back. Those are:

1. Script my next YouTube video
2. Practice my Fred Noad guitar book.

These are things that I want to do, so why am I not doing them? Are they too difficult? Is it resistance? Almost certainly it is.

Can I write my way into ‘doing the thing?’. I guess the script is has the most amount of resistance. I can almost feel myself reaching for the guitar and not opening my script document, so why not do two pomodoros right here, right now? One guitar, one scripting? Okay, let’s try that …

Graham Stephan on Thumbnails and Titles

Graham Stephan is crushing YouTube. And he’s not shy about sharing his strategy, which is awesome. If you’re looking at growing a YouTube channel, you really ought to watch this video. Seriously. It’s jam-packed with value.

In this video, Graham talks about his strategy, including going into his titles and thumbnails.

Titles

Start with the title. I keep hearing this from content creators.

If I can’t get a good title for a video, I don’t make the video.

Graham Stephan

Graham spends hours a day thinking of topics, going through subreddits, watching YouTube videos, then, once he has a topic idea, he thinks about the title. Then he makes the video.

Thumbnails

Graham works as hard on the thumbnails as he does on titles and topics. Again, this is something I keep hearing.

The thumbnail is probably the thing that we spend the most amount of time on. We know that if we miss the mark on the thumbnail, all the work is going to be for nothing.

This is where I am falling down in a big way. What I should do is look at successful channels and see what they are doing with the thumbnails.

One bad thumbnail is like you made a bad chess move and they take one of your pieces.

Oh man. That’s an awesome way to think of it. But I still don’t know how to make good thumbnails of my own content!

Without uploading it’s going to be impossible to grow. Thats’ why I keep uploading consistently. I don’t want to miss an upload.

Now this I can do. That’s one thing I can control.

Sponsors

I’m very selective about the sponsors I do. Every time I do a sponsor, it takes my video down from a 10 to like an 8.5.

Graham talks about revenue. It’s like 50% Adsense, 25% affiliate income and 25% sponsors. He gets into this at around the 1h mark.

I’m blown away by how generous Graham is with his information, particularly where the numbers are concerned.

New Channel Artwork

My good friend and accountability buddy Esther helped me out last week with my new channel artwork for my YouTube channel. I just repurposed it for my podcast, Quoth the Camser. I really like it!

What do you think? Does it make you want to listen to my podcast?

If it does, here is the latest episode. Enjoy!

Last.fm Weekly Charts, featuring Nick Harper

6 Nov 2020, 12:00am to 13 Nov 2020, 12:00am

1Avatar for Nick HarperNick Harper39 scrobbles
2Avatar for ElbowElbow15
3Avatar for Scissor SistersScissor Sisters8
4Avatar for The Divine ComedyThe Divine Comedy7
5Avatar for Yann TiersenYann Tiersen7
6Avatar for Kate BushKate Bush6
7Avatar for Primal ScreamPrimal Scream6
8Avatar for The JamThe Jam5
9Avatar for Belle & SebastianBelle & Sebastian4
10Avatar for BlurBlur4

Nice to see Nick Harper at the top of the charts again. He brought out a new album last week called Phantastes. It was a crowd-funded album and I was on the vinyl and digital download tier. I forget what the price was, but whatever it was, it was totally worth it to support one of my all time favourite recording artists! Nick has a small but very loyal fanbase, so you bump into friendly faces at all the gigs. In fact, Nick’s itself is a friendly face, so friendly in fact that he was good enough to let me interview him for my Acoustic Guitar IO podcast!

Podcast Episode with Nick Harper

The album is superb. It shows Nick’s real growth as an artist. He’s not one to repeat himself and this is a real departure from what he’s done before. It really rewards repeated listens and on good headphones. It’s quite a bassy album, much more so than any of his others, no doubt partly because he’s playing on a baritone electric, the Airline one that sold as part of the crowd-funding campaign.

The album isn’t up on the streaming sites yet, nor is it available on the crowd-funding page, so I’m not sure how you would get it. I guess it’s a perk for us funders for the time being to have access to it! Seems a bit daft not to have it on sale though?

Austin Kleon’s Curious Elder

Image nicked off Ali’s Website

I heard about Austin Kleon’s curious elder in Ali Abdaal’s podcast, Not Overthinking, the episode entitled Austin Kleon on Writing, Creativity and the Importance of Idleness.

It’s one of Ali’s deep dives, where he talks to creative people he admires in industry. Interestingly, Ali touches upon what these deep dives are in response to Austin’s talking about what he finds to be the best thing about doing what he does: getting to hang with like-minded people from all over the world! I can relate, as indeed I will later on in this post.

Austin Kleon is the author of Show Your Work!, Steal Like an Artist and Keep Going, three books that have become very popular with artists and creative people of all types. I’ve read Show Your Work!, and just bought the other two this morning. I can’t wait to get into them!

As I listened to the conversation, I sat with Roam open on my desktop and made notes. There were so many takeaways and a lot of the conversation snippets inspired thoughts in me, so I’m going to explore that a bit here. Some of the quotes won’t be word-for-word, as I was paraphrasing in my notes, but as jumping off points, they’ll do just fine.

The Curious Elder

This is such a good turn of phrase. That guy should be a writer! Oh, wait…

I’m only 37 but I’m basically an old dad in Internet years. I’m going to have to flip the switch and be like a curious elder now.

Austin kleon

So if he’s an old dad at 37, I guess I’m a granddad, right?

I’m definitely a curious elder too, but do I really have to take my cues on what’s culturally relevant from the young whippersnappers who are crushing it in the knowledge space right now?

Well, yes and no. A LOT of what they come up with is actually really helpful, or really entertaining, or really inspiring, and is sometimes all of those things at the same time.

You do you!

Gary vaynerchuck

GaryVee has the right of it. I can take inspiration from the creators whose content I enjoy and spin it into my own thing. Austin talks about this a lot in the conversation, and he should know as he literally wrote the book on it!

So I will be doing just that: taking inspiration and filtering it through my own points of view and experience and ‘doing me’.

I’m the lucky position at having failed at a lot of things and having learned what I DON’T want to do.

I also now have the time and the support of my family to explore new ideas without being encumbered by working a job that I hate. I feel at the peak of happiness in a lot of ways, and now is the time for me to start exploring and experimenting.

That’s the kind of thing I get from listening to such conversations as Ali and Austin’s.

What else came to mind?

Guitar People

And that is the best thing. I’m in touch with all these people that care about the same stuff that I do.

Austin Kleon

Back in 2005 I flew to Atlanta for my first Little Brother Jam. I got to meet a whole load of guitar nerds that I’d only ever spoken to online and had the time of my life. I went annually for the next few years, and also started attending a similar thing in the UK.

In 2018 I flew to Krakow in Poland to meet the DDaily crew, a bunch of creators who were publishing content on the Steem blockchain and are now active on the Hive platforms.

These events have been some of the most rewarding trips of my life and they have enriched my life in ways that I couldn’t have imagined. I guess that’s what Austin is talking about too.

Writing

In writing every day, you find out what you have to say. Writing is not just a way of communicating with the world, it’s a way of communicating with yourself. You are creating space in the day to connect with what’s here and what’s going on and figure out what you really think and feel.

Austin Kleon

This ties in nicely with a fantastic blog post I read by Scott Adams:

Writing is a skill that requires practice. So the first part of my system involves practicing on a regular basis. I didn’t know what I was practicing for, exactly, and that’s what makes it a system and not a goal. I was moving from a place with low odds (being an out-of-practice writer) to a place of good odds (a well-practiced writer with higher visibility).

Scott Adams

Together, these two quotes tell me what I need to do: I need to write. So that is what I’m doing!

Life-long Learner

Take the attitude that you’re a life-long learner.

Austin kleon

I’ve always had this attitude, sometimes to the detriment of producing anything. For example I have a course on the go right now and am about to start another one, both with my eye on becoming the person I want to be and finally get beyond my own limitations.

This is something I will be exploring more in my writing and video making.

Multipotentialite

I think of myself as a writer who does other things – eg. drawing. ‘Writer’ is my identity, but you can have something that’s the core and have other skills on top that make you stand out. There just weren’t that many writers who knew Internet stuff when I started. Blogs in 2005 were still kind of new. You needed some expertise to do it then. I would draw famous writers as they were doing their readings and then send them to them. How do I keep all the things in my life that I’m interested in and get them to talk to each other? What kind of life can come out of this?

Austin Kleon

This was like music to my ears. Of late I’ve been pondering why I never became a more prolific writer, a photographer, a musician, a video maker. I’ve been doing all of those things most of my adult life. I remember actually making the decision to quit taking photos because it was diluting the time I had for my music. Austin had this to say:

Steven Tomlinson told a story that’s in Steal Like an Artist – he went to his adviser and said ‘I love God; I love theatre and I also love business and being an entrepreneur. Which one should I choose?’ His adviser said ‘if you love all these things, your work is to figure out a way to keep all these things in your life. You might not have a career, but you’ll have a life.’ There will always be a phantom limb kind of feeling if you cut something out that you’re really into.

He was right – there was a phantom limb feeling when I wasn’t taking photos and I soon picked up the camera again. Now I understand that my job is to figure out how to keep the things I love and put them all together in some way and see what comes out. I mean it seems pretty obvious now, but now that I feel like I have the permission, it’ll help me a bit with the whole mindset thing.

Cyclical Seasons

This was another bit of the conversation I really enjoyed, the idea that work and creativity are cyclical, or ‘circular’ rather than ‘linear’.

When I’m thinking too linearly about life, eg. where will I be in five years, I like to read more eastern philosophy or Thoreau. I’ve almost abandoned linear thinking. I operate more on cycles. Stories are artificial to a certain extent. Cycles are not artificial. The earth goes around the sun, the moon goes around the earth. There are natural metaphors for our lives. The structures that our culture has given us – we need a reprieve from that. Is thinking about five years from now really the right thing? Do you see a timeline or do you see loops?

This was new to me and it makes sense. A lot of the online gurus I’m studying with now or have in the past get you to start out by imagining where you’ll be in x years’ time. Austin has got me questioning that approach now. I feel like, having reached the age of 49 and had a very varied life, I can see how making five year plans will never really work out. You could ask V.I. Lenin for his thoughts on that if he were here!

Austin goes deeper still on the concept of goals and questions the metaphors that we live our lives by. This is a fascinating topic and I hope he writes more on this. But if he doesn’t, maybe I will! Why the hell not – I have enough life experience to have shown me how living according to cultural metaphors has worked out for me and my family.

He gives some examples of authors that I can look at and talks about how women work with different metaphors than men. With men it’s all about competition and war and zero-sum games, whereas women don’t think so much in those terms.

Shall I Write?

Well, yes. Listening to conversations like this one really inspires me to believe that I can actually do this. This time it feels different, like I’ve given myself the permission to do this. I know I’ve been through cycles like this before and that they have petered out, but now I know that that’s okay.

I’m also learning about systems thinking with August Bradley and that will go a long way to helping me figure out what to do between the cycles, or how to link different parts of the cycle with something new – I’ve just learned that that is called emergence, and I’m really excited to see what emerges!


Resources Mentioned

Austin Kleon’s Books

Other Resources

Strong Women and Systems Thinking

I feel like writing, so that’s what I’m gonna do. I have no idea what will come out. Let’s just see, shall we?

Firstly, Rebecca Tracey of uncageyourbusiness.com sent a fantastic email newslettery thing called ‘Fuck that Guy’. I don’t know what it is, but I’m attracted to strong women how can speak their minds in that way. That was what attracted me to Amanda Bond and her course back when I was spending money on social media marketing courses like I had a never-ending supply.

I considered spending money on Rebecca Tracey’s course too. I was on holiday at the time and got a really nice glimpse into how to crush it in terms of marketing and reel in the little fishies on the hook. I got this close to it, with all those emotional butterflies and thoughts flying around my head saying: ‘This is IT! This is the ONE! Buy this course and everything will be GOLDEN!’ Rebecca even sent me a couple of personal voice memos with some feedback on my social media marketing business as it was then.

So. Close!

I talked it over with my ever-loving wife in the car on the way to Dudley Zoo, and kind of came to the conclusion that social media marketing isn’t really my thing, and that’s the reason it’s not working — not because I’ve not done enough learning, but because I don’t really want to do it. It took that experience to bring that out of me, that experience and a talk with my wife. I should do that more instead of being so insular with my thoughts. Note to self: your wife is your best friend and ally and supports you even when she disagrees.

That would’ve cost me $2k, money which, I hasten to add, my wife has earned, not I.

Okay, so it seems that my writing is about my attraction to strong women then. Ha!

So what exactly IS my plan then?

More courses, naturally.

Systems Thinking with August Bradley

I’m enjoying August Bradley’s Systems Thinking course right now. In fact after only two weeks I think I can say already that it’s one of the best courses I’ve done. I’m struggling to get my head round the Notion system that he’s teaching, but it’s not really about that so much as it is about learning how to think in terms of systems and really work out what I want to do and then how to do that. It was the first part that was missing, which is why I’ve been kind of wandering around aimlessly or aiming at the wrong things since I sold the post office a year ago.

As I watched the live call on Tuesday with about five layers on and my hood up (yes, the house is BALTIC!) I started making notes about my values and what August calls ‘value goals’. Without starting there, I’m kind of in the weeds. Things like:

  1. Be the best guitar player I can be
  2. Satisfaction in life
  3. Mind improvement
  4. To be loved
  5. To have a comfortable, warm, uncluttered house
  6. To live more minimally (minimalistically?)

They’re pretty nebulous and unmeasurable, right? That’s the idea though; to start with some top level life goals and then work back to come up with goal outcomes that will move me towards those value goals. Value goals have to come from the heart, and that’s the key. If I just put something like ‘be an awesome social media manager’, it’s not really a heart-felt thing that will drive me, you see?

But if I take the first one: Be the best guitar player I can be, I can come up with some goal outcomes for that:

  1. Complete Mike Dawes’ video course
  2. Finish Fred Noad Solo Guitar Playing Book
  3. Finish Mary Flowers’ blues DVD

Then I can use habits or projects to work towards those goals. The goal outcomes will be set to one or two quarters, then the projects or habits will break down into weeks and months, so let’s say:

  1. Finish half of the Solo Guitar Playing book by the end of November
    • Chapter 3 by end of next week
      • Two exercises today
      • Two exercises tomorrow
    • Chapter 4 by end of following week

That kind of thing.

So how does Notion help with this? To be honest I’m still kind of in the weeds with that. I’ve tried to implement this kind of thing but so far unsuccessfully.

I’m still very much at the learning stage as the course is still at the beginning more or less, and I should spend the time until the end of the year working on my value goals and learning how to use Notion and create my own personal operating system.

Ali Abdaal’s YouTube Academy

This is the second of two courses I’ve enrolled for. As I consider my value goals and figure out just what it is that I want to do, rather than what I think I should do, this seems like it.

I’ve been enjoying Ali’s content for a couple of months now and his candour in giving away his revenue numbers is one of the things that pushed me over the edge with my (wife’s) money in my hand.

I’ve been on YouTube since before the Google days and I feel like if I’d had a systems way of thinking back then, I’d be one of the YouTube celebs by now. I don’t say that flippantly, I actually believe that. And if I can carry that belief forward to today, well, why the hell not! I’ll learn how to make videos with an eye on systems, both my own and YouTube’s and find a way of making them work together to earn me enough to pay the bills. That’s my goal: pay the bills. I don’t need a Tesla but I do need a way of spending my time in exchange for money that I can use to pay the bills. Simple.

https://academy.aliabdaal.com/

Right, I really better get on with my day. This turned out to be way longer than I was expecting!

By the way, it seems like this would make two or maybe three actual blog posts with value for people if I were to work on the content a little. Could there be room for that over at camscampbell.com? I really do like writing …

Weekly Last.FM Charts, Featuring Clint Mansell

Week of 23 October – 30 October 2020

RankAvatarArtist nameScrobbles
1Avatar for Clint MansellClint Mansell52 scrobbles
2Avatar for Roy HarperRoy Harper23
3Avatar for John MartynJohn Martyn8
4Avatar for QueenQueen8
5Avatar for Tim BuckleyTim Buckley6
6Avatar for Fairport ConventionFairport Convention5
7Avatar for Richard ThompsonRichard Thompson5
8Avatar for John CaleJohn Cale4
9Avatar for Kevin AyersKevin Ayers4
10Avatar for Scott WalkerScott Walker4

I listened to an episode of the Soundtracking podcast with Edith Bowman, episode 217 with Ben Wheatley, director of the new Rebecca movie that just hit Neflix. Clint Mansell did the score for the movie and so I listened to it a few times while doing knowledge work at home. It’s really good.

Ilizarov Frame

I actually met Clint once at a gig at the Glasgow Barrowlands. It was when I was recovering from my climbing accident and I’d gone to see PWEI. Given the state of my leg, the Barrowlands bouncers sent me to the artists’ entrance to avoid the crowds and I met Clint on the stairs. He asked the obvious question: ‘what happened to your leg?’. I can’t remember if I told him the truth or not. In those days I used to make up different stories because I was so tired of the question. Well, I was 19 and probably stoned, so…